Want to Come Along?

I've been reflecting on fatherhood lately and wondering if many of us are aiming at the wrong things. Respect. Obedience. Admiration. Appreciation. Significance. None of those are bad things, but I'm not sure they are the target.

What Makes Us Feel Loved?

This week I was sitting at my dad's house wondering what I could do to connect with him more. I realized that when I think about the times I've felt most loved by my dad, they usually aren't the deep conversations or the moments where he taught me something profound.

I remember leaving his house in Fremont and him handing me his birthday cash so we'd have gas money for the drive home. I remember coffee and pastries. Clothes shopping. A round of golf. I remember him having a speaking engagement somewhere in the city and inviting me along for the ride.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't really any of those things that made me feel loved.

It was that he wanted me there.

"Sam, want to come along?"

Maybe that's why a phone call doesn't always feel the same. Maybe that's why trying to manufacture quality time doesn't always work. Sometimes what we really want is just an excuse to be together for a while.

An Excuse to Be Together

That got me thinking about my own kids.

Elise likes crafting. Wesley likes building things. Audrey likes helping in the kitchen. I could make a whole list, but maybe I don't need a list.

Maybe I just need to keep choosing the person in front of me.

Jesus seemed to do that. He changed the world one person at a time. One conversation. One meal. One interruption. One act of kindness. The smallest acts often add up to be very significant.

Who is in front of me right now?

Sons Before Fathers

As fathers we can spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Will they respect me? Will they listen? Will they turn out alright?

Those questions matter, but maybe there is a more important one.

Who is in front of me right now?

Maybe fatherhood is less about being admired and more about being available. Maybe it's carrying a little cash you're willing to part with. Maybe it's saying yes when your child asks for help. Maybe it's inviting them to come along when you're running errands.

We're sons before we're fathers. We have a Heavenly Father who keeps choosing us. He makes time for us. He provides for us. He invites us along.

Maybe that's why these little moments matter so much.

One Small Choice at a Time

The older I get, the more I'm convinced that some of the most important things we do as fathers don't feel important at all when we're doing them.

They're just small opportunities to choose the person in front of us.

One ride into town.

One trip to the hardware store.

One coffee.

One conversation.

One invitation.

One small act of love at a time.