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I’m becoming less interested in mastering ministry techniques and more passionate about becoming the kind of shepherd, father, friend who has been altered by walking with Jesus.

Discipleship is participatory.

Discipleship is participatory. Jesus didn't say come learn; He said come follow.

I responded to Jesus at five years old by raising my hand and repeating a prayer with a missionary speaker named Hal Lehman. But following Jesus didn't begin or end there.

I've pursued Jesus as a worshiper, seeking his presence wherever I could find him. I remember praying and praising in the Civic Center Plaza and walking the Tenderloin on Friday nights (Night Strike) with the San Francisco Dream Center. I learned to “Treat hell’s trash like Heaven’s treasure.”

Jesus cares about mustard-seed-sized communities and people of very little reputation.

I have followed Jesus seeking out orphans and vulnerable children in Northern California, the Rio Grande Valley and now in Northern Nevada.

Is ten kids too much?

Not if there is one more that Jesus is stopping and getting down low for.

I’ve followed him into the desert where a faint idea of the wild west might still live, and I’m learning to follow Jesus from person to person more than place to place.

I wonder who we'll meet next.

All the while he keeps caring for me. I never really keep up with him; he lets me catch up and find him over and over.

We encounter His presence where we are found by Him.

Each time he leads me to someone I’m reminded that he first came to me.

Jesus finds people where they are.

Was I really pursuing Jesus or was I encountering him waiting for me, coming to find me?

It seems more like he’s been rearranging the furniture in my life so that I have to keep running into him.

It leads me to a Petrine (Peter-like) sort of surrender.

“I thought this partnership might help me with what I want. But what you want is for me to be a servant so that others will get what they need and you’ll have what you want, my attention. That’s what I need to be yours.”

Peter keeps interrupting my assumptions.

When I think about Peter it helps me.

I’ve read enough books on spiritual disciplines, spiritual growth, discipleship, evangelism and supernatural ministry to last a lifetime.

If the disciples walked with the living Word of God for three years we might expect they got pretty far along in that amount of time.

But Peter never became the finished disciple many of our modern discipleship books seem to promise after three years of walking with Jesus.

I have to wonder if my adventures in Christian reading and self-improvement are a diversion from staying with Jesus on this journey.

I hear Jesus continually saying, Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me.

Following Jesus is probably less complicated than I make it and more like Obadiah following me whenever we go out.

He’s getting more independent these days at three. At the Reno Aces baseball stadium recently he was running full speed, exploring everything in every direction almost all at once.

I think that was my early twenties.

I haven’t found one method or even a top ten list on how best to follow Jesus.

It's a dance, and everyone dances differently.

The important thing is that you’re with the right partner, and that you understand he’s leading and you’re following.

Even after Pentecost Peter is still being corrected, surprised and led places he doesn’t want to go (John 21:18; Acts 10:9–16).

Jesus seems more interested in Peter staying close than mastering the elements of faith.

What has Christ been preparing?

My question is always, How is Christ preparing me—and what for?

How will we see Jesus shape things next with our own God-designed fingerprints on it?

It makes me think less about what ministry I should build and more about what kind of person Jesus is shaping.

Not just in me but in the people I’m encountering as I follow him.

It’s not just about the kind of vessel he is shaping. It’s more about who is thirsty and how carrying his presence might be life-saving for someone else along the path.

Wonder.

I carry with me the lives and teachings of some significant Jesus-lifers.

Moses.

My dad and Mom.

Peter.

David.

Grandpa Roy.

Grandpa Max.

Loren Cunningham.

Eugene Peterson.

There are many more.

I hope I have begun to wonder like they wonder.

Make the kind of bets or risks they did.

Make room for the Spirit to do more than they could.

Curiosity might be that part of God’s image that allows for free will and makes room for apparent interruptions.

Wonder helps me to keep following Jesus, not a system.

The driveway.

Speaking of random.

I’m obsessed with someday making my gravel driveway just right.

All the dips, high spots, out-of-place curves and potholes are mapped out in my head.

I have worked it with a shovel and rake and more recently my new, but vintage, orange compact tractor.

If you know you know.

I have a tractor. It was a generous gift. Jesus loves me.

I made a good round of passes the other day before the torrential desert downpour that lasted about twenty minutes.

I’m happy it's a bit smoother and a bit straighter.

But I forget sometimes that the purpose is to make the journey easier for others.

Less bumps for neighbors and family who come to connect.

Easier on the tender feet of little ones riding bikes and running barefoot to retrieve packages.

My cousin who gave me the tractor pictures something like Jesus might.

“I see you doing projects and bringing guys along and them seeing how you talk to people about Jesus. I think the tractor might help with that.”

I’ll have to get past the end of the driveway for that.

Jesus must already be there waiting for me.

Maybe Christ has been preparing me the same way.

Like Isaiah said, making every hill low and raising up every depression, making the crooked straight and the rough parts smooth.

Not so that I’ll be an impressive pastor but so Jesus has a clear path into my heart and my neighborhood, and those seeking him have less to stumble on when he entrusts them to me.

Does building the kingdom look less like what I accomplish and more like him shaping me?

What do you say, Peter?